one afternoon in march of 2013, i came home upset, an anxious mess, full of self-loathing and wanting nothing more than my blade.
but somehow, i managed to stop myself.
i said that i would first pause, and make a cup of tea. i would focus on the water warming up in the kettle and think of the warm feeling i get when my dog lays his head in my lap, or a hug from an old friend after a long time. i would wait until the water was hot, then brew my tea. i would sit in the sun-lit kitchen, blowing gently on the hot, soothing mug until it was ready to drink. i would focus on my breathing. i would focus on letting my mind wander to flowers and art, not thinking about my faults or my weight or that i had had a bad day.
i would simply have a cup of tea, and let it soothe the monster inside my heart.
i am a doodler. i draw on napkins and newspapers and occasionally, myself. i looked down at my wrist, where there were three small cuts trying to heal. i moved and winced because of the cuts on my hips, and i had the realisation that what i was doing was wrong: causing pain to heal pain. it doesn’t work. it always just left me ashamed and full of regret. i decided that whenever i wanted to cut, i would drink tea instead. i drew a little tea-cup on my wrist, and wrote those three words. and the idea for “drink tea instead” popped into my mind.
this is a non-profit organization, a place where people can talk and ask questions, and learn more about issues like cutting, depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. people can submit their stories and struggles and questions, and there will soon be an option to donate tea to be sent out to people who are hurting - anyone who wants one, will get a little care package of teas. this will be a place of community and of raising awareness and finding ways to cope.
and hopefully, this will be a place for healing.
keep fighting the monster within your mind. don’t let it take over your true self. you are worth the fight.
for more information, to ask questions, or to join the movement, please visit http://drinkteainstead.tumblr.com